Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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