i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
