They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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