Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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