big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
