my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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