I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
