the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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