I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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