Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
