guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
