dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
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It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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