Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize