well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I wish I only lived at night.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
