You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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