Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
