her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
