One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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