If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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