I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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