i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I need to stop coming to work sober
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
