Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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