great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
