there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
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if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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