Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
