I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
we're making bets on your personal life
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
How external is "for external use only"?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
