Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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