he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
