I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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