how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
