When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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