I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
