plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
