Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
