yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
