In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
