I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
