I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
