is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
