You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
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I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
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Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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