Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
