trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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