he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
