She went from zero to smokin in five shots
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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