just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
