nut hugger
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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