Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
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