Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
