SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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