I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
