If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
