You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
