even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
