Your tits are I can't wait for
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
try to milk me bitch
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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