As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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