Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
