Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
