i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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