I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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